somehow the summer slipped away...

i don't know how or when it happened, but apparently summer ended, or i guess it is ending. time really seems to slip away once you start to grow up. it was three years ago that i was starting my last semester at college. and it was only two years ago that i graduated from pastry school. sometimes i can't fathom how much has happened in those two long/short years. i am thankful for the person that i have become, but damn those two years were hard. and it isn't over. it is just the beginning. but life is just a series of big high dives. it is terrifying when you are walking up the steps. you have this feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are looking over the edge wondering if this was the worst idea in your life. but then you count to three and jump. and when you reach the bottom you have this amazing feeling, that you not only did something that scared you but that you actually enjoyed it. and it makes you want to go off the bigger high dive, because now you realize you can actually do it. if you just close your eyes and jump.

right now i am walking up the steps to my second high dive.

i had my passport photos made today. i am dropping off my application tomorrow. i have plans to travel around Europe with one of my oldest friends. my savings account is starting to get bigger. and i bought a french program today. everything is starting to become so real. i am preparing for this life that seems so scary. all while i am having this surreal one happening around me.

Saturday my pop rocks dessert was photographed for modern luxury magazine. and last week i got my first tip. it was funny. this older couple comes in quite often and sometimes i make special desserts for them. well, this week the husband went to go shake my hand and when i pulled my hand back there was money in my palm. i didn't know that actually happened to people in real life. plus we have a new kitchen staff already. it is me, and older Argentina man who stares at me, an alcoholic, and two mexicans. can you tell i am just a little out of place.

but i just stay upstairs and don't talk to people really. and about an hour or two a day i am the only one in the whole restaurant and i usually sit on my flour bags and read. i have gone through about 8 books this summer. books are just better than real life. i enjoy getting lost in the emotions of people's lives that don't actually exist.

although last week i read nights at rondathe for the second time. and listened to only regina spektor. and now i am a hopeless romantic. and i just want someone to really love me for me. damn them.

only 9 more months till i can go to Europe. yay.