over a month overdue. finally a picture of the plinko cake i made for my brother's wedding. the stair are all cake and the board is made out of sugar.

now onto my life...

sometimes i think in tweets. i hope it's not just me. look at what the Internet has done to our generation. instead of actually talking to people we can find out what our friends are doing without actually having to talk to them at all. what does this mean for the relationships? can i even call the people who use to once be my closest friends still friends even though i haven't spoken to them in months and there is never any effort on either part? i guess if you are friends on the Internet it means you no longer have the need to be friends in real life. what a weird concept to think about.

there has been and this overwhelming feeling lingering inside me for the past couple of weeks. everything i sit and look at my budget or wake up the next morning and realize how much i spent i get this panic in my chest. wondering what the hell i am doing here and how am i going to afford the next year? it's only money right? money can't replace those memories that only an experience like this can give you. how often does someone get the chance to just pick up their life and move to new york city with their best friend? it may be hard and sometimes it can be lonely but i think i would rather be doing this than anything else right now.

i still don't know what i am doing with my life. at all. why is this so hard? i know what i want to be and who i would love to grow to be. but i have no clue how to get there. and i have too many versions of myself that i would love to see evolve out of this person i am now but which one do i really want? growing up blows. sometimes i wonder when you reach that point where you realize that you are done, that you are the person you will be for the rest of your life and you are happy or comfortable with it. or does that never actually come. are we meant to spend our whole lives searching for something that is unattainable? maybe it's life's sick joke on us.

i wish i was a cast member on how i met your mother.