unemployment

i am officially unemployed for the next month. this should scare me considering that we are in a recession and all. but i have a job waiting for me in new york. so i can breath a little easier. although i have so much to do in the next 15 days. today was a good start. if you would have seen all the stuff i got done today you would have thought i was on speed. when i get overwhelmed i tend to get so much done.

in less than a week i turn 23. in 15 days i leave texas for good. and in 21 days i leave for new york city.

after so many months it's almost here. it feels like i am still making it all up. that after these 3 months of planning and dreaming that it will all end up being some sick joke that life is playing on me. i know friday will make things real. well, more real than they feel now. somewhere deep inside i know this is what these past 3 years have been preparing me for. as cheesy as that sounds. this isn't just a chapter ending, this is like an entire book is ending and the second in the series is about to start. but with new books starting it means new characters. and many of the old ones won't make an appearance anymore. i'm saying goodbye to who i use to be. and becoming the person that i want to be. and that means letting go.

i don't know why i feel so confident this time. maybe it's because i will have my best friend there to hold my hand. or my brother there to make me feel better when i get frustrated. or megan kelly there to tell secrets to that my brother can't handle. something about this is different. something about this feels so perfect. i'm not scared...i'm ready.